outofshadows | texts from last night.

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texts from last night.

The texts from last night.

What the hell happened last night? I don't know and I don't think you do either.

one ➝ Make threads with your characters. Leave it blank or comment with a TFLN. two ➝ Stuff happens. AKA people respond to you. three ➝ You can make them up or string together some actual TFLNs. four ➝ Always drink responsibly. In the future, of course.

What the hell happened last night? I don't know and I don't think you do either.

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There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.

Today is not that day.

Somehow I don't think this was meant for me, but I'm curious all the same.

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punchedaklingon - 2013-05-17 13:57 (UTC) - Expand

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dublinbrogue - 2013-05-17 21:54 (UTC) - Expand

Anyone seen a pair of handcuffs, a can of Cool Whip, or a trenchcoat lying around?

This best not have anything to do with the pile o' ashes I found.

I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later.

That's a keeper love.

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freebitchbaby - 2013-05-16 22:58 (UTC) - Expand

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freebitchbaby - 2013-05-19 22:03 (UTC) - Expand

(702): I was very proud of myself last night. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.

Why would you ever care if you negatively impact others?

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unflagging - 2013-05-16 23:41 (UTC) - Expand

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ishouldcarewhyexactly - 2013-05-17 01:49 (UTC) - Expand

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ishouldcarewhyexactly - 2013-05-18 01:14 (UTC) - Expand

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unflagging - 2013-05-18 01:57 (UTC) - Expand

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ishouldcarewhyexactly - 2013-05-18 02:06 (UTC) - Expand

Is it even possible to have an awesome time without negatively impacting others?

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unflagging - 2013-05-17 14:11 (UTC) - Expand

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huge_egomd - 2013-05-18 15:39 (UTC) - Expand

How in the world did we start talking about blow jobs in space?

I was curious if the lack of gravity made it better or worse.

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to_this_end - 2013-05-16 22:22 (UTC) - Expand

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dublinbrogue - 2013-05-17 02:09 (UTC) - Expand

I don't know. One minute we were talking about the effect of weightlessness on the human body and the next we were talking about blow jobs. Seemed logical at the time.

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to_this_end - 2013-05-16 22:27 (UTC) - Expand

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huge_egomd - 2013-05-17 00:45 (UTC) - Expand

I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.

I am not sure that's the warm and fuzzy feeling you are having right now

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dublinbrogue - 2013-05-16 22:43 (UTC) - Expand

Please tell me it's at least good alcohol. I would totally vouch for that medical practice if it is.

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ishouldcarewhyexactly - 2013-05-17 02:42 (UTC) - Expand

(307): Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.

I didn't pay the insurance so watch for cops. Otherwise, let your aim be true.

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nott_caine - 2013-05-16 22:28 (UTC) - Expand

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punchedaklingon - 2013-05-17 13:07 (UTC) - Expand

Why am I wearing a dog collar?

Because you were being a naughty puppy. Duh.

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ka_mai - 2013-05-16 23:37 (UTC) - Expand

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(289) Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pantsless. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.

Pants are such a silly garment, anyway. Why does anyone bother with them?

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ishouldcarewhyexactly - 2013-05-19 14:01 (UTC) - Expand

How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do, what to do?

I'm sure this was a misfire but cut it into fourths and rip the paper out and put each forth on separate sides of the recycling box. Also; don't ask how I know.

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itwasrhetorical - 2013-05-16 23:01 (UTC) - Expand

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itwasrhetorical - 2013-05-19 21:29 (UTC) - Expand

You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.

I think we should renegotiate this treaty.

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ishouldcarewhyexactly - 2013-05-17 12:40 (UTC) - Expand

I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame

Edited 2013-05-16 23:22 (UTC)

Why the shame, friend? Sounds like a good night to me!

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Due to concerns over safety, the theme of 'Naked Fondue and Chocolate Fountain Party' has now been changed to 'Naked Fondue and Chocolate Fountain Party With Optional Apron'. Please b.y.o.apron. Prizes for most creative apron!

That sounds like a hell of a party.

(443): you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.

(801): Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?

Edited 2013-05-17 02:32 (UTC)

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ishouldcarewhyexactly - 2013-05-17 12:40 (UTC) - Expand

(973) He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could

Well to be fair, they ARE glorious....

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advancedbosoms - 2013-05-17 18:59 (UTC) - Expand

(704) He just kept saying "Come on Iron Man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time...

Edited 2013-05-17 02:35 (UTC)

(269): That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.

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